Starship Troopers 3: Marauder
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DVD Review
Ratings And Purchasing Information
Review
Starship Troopers 3: Marauder
Movie:
I wasted a portion of my life recently night watching this utter crap and am really loathe to spend more time on a review, so the review is “its crap”… Oh wait, do I really need to expand on that? OK… I will try.
Johnny Rico (Casper Van Dien) is now a full bird Colonel on some tiny base in the arse end of nowhere when all of a sudden the all singing (I kid you not) Sky Marshall Omar Anoke drops in on a surprise visit. The entourage consists of old friend General Dix Hauser (Boris Kodjoe) and old flame Captain Lola Beck (Jolene Blalock). The base is surrounded by an electric fence which keeps the bugs out, but whilst the dignitaries are in the base the power fails and the bugs swarm in. Hauser and Rico stay and fight whilst Anoke and Beck manage to get away although not very far as their spaceship crashes before it reaches earth and the small band of survivors try and make contact with fleet rescue.
I have to say that I really enjoyed the first movie, I loved the way it didn’t take itself seriously, but at the same time had some good special effects and a semi decent(ish) story. Sure it was never going to win awards, at least not good ones, but there was an element of fun to it all. I missed the second one but after reading about that it would seem that that was not a bad thing (to miss it) and so when this was offered to me I leapt at it thinking it would be at least as good as the first one… how wrong I was.
The movie is terrible from beginning to end and I am struggling to think of any good points. The sets look cheap, the bugs look slow and ungainly like wind up toys and a few in number until we get to some dodgy CGI towards the end of the film and for those that remember the first film there are none of those funky bugs that fire fireballs out of there arse, instead we have something that looks like it cam from War of the Worlds, and we only see that once. To those that have not seen the first film that description will put you off totally I guess but they are probably one of the best bits about the original film. Other special effects looked cheaply done and the story was filled with characters that you really wanted to see killed.
On top of all this was the farce that was supposed to be a story. A singing, chart topping Sky Marshall? Huh what was that about? A bimbo flight attendant that back chatted her Captain regularly, the side story about god and religion was awkward and stupid. It all added up to one big mess. The only potential for redemption was the Marauder portion but this falls flat taking place in only the last 5 minutes with some really dodgy super imposed images.
And also remember this is supposed to be Earth against the bugs, a pretty epic affair and yet the crew of a massive starship number about 10, the important outpost on a distant planet has a garrison of about 50 people (if that). The list of badness goes on and on to the point where there is no point me actually mentioning any more.
But were there any good points, yes there were two good points, the first one is around the time of the Marauder project where three of the crew are girls and they go topless and the second one is the end.
Picture & Audio:
The picture quality isn’t that bad, it was clear without any marks or damage. The desert scenes were the best for clarity but none of the images were of bad quality. Audio was clear although99% came from the front, the gun noises were tinny and weak but that was the noise they were supposed to make and not a failing of the soundtrack. Passable in both areas but nothing outstanding.
Extras:
Filmmaker Commentary:
Ed Neumeier (Writer, Director), David Lancaster (Producer) and Roger Skotak (Special Effects supervisor talk about the film and how they put together scenes, a standard commentary really, everyone seems to have “fallen off their chair” when they first read the script and I wonder if it was because it was so bad. I couldn’t sit through the whole thing as I hated the movie and couldn’t sit through it again listening to everyone speak about how honoured they were
Director and Cast Commentary:
Again Ed Neumeier (Writer, Director), Casper Van Dien (Johnny Rico) and Jolene Blalock (Captain Lola Beck) sit down to wax lyrical about Starship Troopers 3, again we get titbits of information about scenes and the film in general, but what is certain is that everyone just loved working with everyone else and they are all great friends.
On the Bounce: A 22 minute making of which is pretty standard fare these days although longer than some making of extras I’ve seen. So if you want to see how to make a bad movie then feel free to waste a further 20+ minutes of your life.
Evolution: The bugs of Starship Troopers:
If you had watched this extra before seeing the film you may feel that you are going to get some fantastic bug experiences when watching the film, everyone speaks so seriously and seems to have great enthusiasm but in reality their efforts, in my opinion, have fallen flat.
Enlist: Marauder’s mobile infantry:
A chat with the main cast and crew about what it takes to be a trooper, should you be desperate enough to ever want to be one.
Music Video: It’s a good day to die:
I couldn’t bring myself to watch this having seen it in the film; I imagine that it is terrible.
Overall:
One of the worst movies that I have ever seen, avoid unless you are given it, I would not buy this and certainly don’t waste your money on a rental. You would have to be a die hard fan and to be honest there is much better out there, although if you like really cheesy B movies with terrible stories and mediocre special effects you may like this. The film was supposed to be funny and satirical and I suppose it could appeal to some, but not me.
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