Empire Square
When you’re part of one of the defining musical acts of your generation, it’s sometimes difficult to find something to do with yourself once it all falls apart. You’ve been plugging away, day in day out, for the best part of a decade and then – zzzzap! – It’s all gone in a flash, and you wake up to the realisation that you might have to do something else with your free time and vast fortune....
When you’re part of one of the defining musical acts of your generation, it’s sometimes difficult to find something to do with yourself once it all falls apart. You’ve been plugging away, day in day out, for the best part of a decade and then – zzzzap! – It’s all gone in a flash, and you wake up to the realisation that you might have to do something else with your free time and vast fortune.
Of course, many musicians choose the ‘solo project’ option, which allows them unlimited shameful self-indulgence, but at the cost of alienating a once-loving fanbase. However, there have been diversions from this theme; New Kid’s on the Block’s Mark and Donnie Wahlberg commenced successful acting careers, Suede’s Bernard Butler planned a career in snooker in his pre-The Tears wilderness years, and most extraordinarily, Ian Anderson, of sixties hippy legends Jethro Tull is now concerned with the study and conservation of the 26 species of small wildcats of the world! Yet, whilst band mate Damon Albarn was recording the second long-playing record with his cartoon band Gorillaz, Blur drummer Dave Rowntree decided to have a go at the animation game himself – the resultant TV series being Empire Square.
Owing a heavy debt to South Park, Family Guy and, bizarrely, the video to Junior Senior’s 2003 smash hit pop single ‘Move your feet’, Empire Sq first appeared on Channel 4 earlier this year. Owing to the rather disgusting and offensive content, it was shown very late on Friday nights, almost guaranteeing an extremely small audience and cult following, and therefore making it ideal for a subsequent DVD release!
The series follows the pixelated adventures of teenagers Richie, Hooks and Rabbit, who, it would seem, are ever willing to do filthy and outrageous things for either fame, money or both. Much like its American older brother ‘South Park’, the main protagonists are placed in a variety of ridiculous situations in order to elicit this struggle for wealth and stature. This means that, whether the three kids are stealing their neighbour’s monkey to sell as a baby on Ebay or getting oral sex performed on them through the hole in the pub toilet wall, you can count on there being several tonnes of superfluous swearing, a small yet well-calculated amount of cultural reference and two dozen blow job jokes in every episode.
Which neatly halts us at the ‘Stop’ sign in the Empire Sq road. Yes, Empire Square does provide a fresh British perspective on often trodden American theme, and plenty of laughs per episode to boot but unfortunately, the episodes last an average of THREE MINUTES EACH, making the DVD prohibitively expensive for what is effectively a sketch that should have been included in another TV series. With not much more than 40 minutes running time in the whole series, it becomes a purchase that will have to be considered carefully before parting with the cold hard cash.
Which, all in all, is a bit of a shame considering that there are a couple of good reasons to get your hands on a copy. The first is the Nostalgia element; the first thing that strikes you about Empire Square is the animation itself, putting you in mind of the classic 16 bit consoles of the early nineties. Except this time you don’t have any control over the characters actions - as if you’ve been placed in some sort of Megadrive semi-coma!
The more compelling reason to pick up Empire Square is that, although hit and miss, it is extremely funny in places. It’s not only the three major characters that manage to raise a laugh though, with the auxiliary ‘cast’ (including a necrophiliac funeral director amongst others) being just as funny. Sometimes you find it quite astounding what the creators have managed to pack in to only three minutes – but (here’s another one of those) you can’t help but feel that they would have sat better as sketches within another show. The rather excellent Monkey Dust has, in the last few years, pushed the boundaries of adult animation and, consequently, manages to house 10 sketches equivalent to ‘Empire Sq’ in comedy value. Whilst this DVD is entertaining, it is far from essential.
THE DVD
As mentioned above, the animation is purposefully blocky and retro, giving the show a very distinct look. The soundtrack could be better – especially when you consider the main perpetrator – but the overall visual and audio quality is above satisfactory.
For a series whose episodes seem to come and go in a matter of minutes (mainly because they actually do) the inclusion of a selection of 20+ ‘shorts’ on the Disc seems to be a little odd. All reservations are, thankfully, dispelled when you watch them and they reveal themselves to be incredibly funny. If GAP ever want to do a filthy advertising campaign, they should call in the Empire boys.
Bizarrely enough, the inclusion of the Pilot episode, at 5 minutes long, manages to eclipse the series in running time and hilarity. Why this wasn’t included in the actual series is anyone’s guess, but then the entire DVD sparks such questions. It may be flawed and, at times infuriating, but is well worth a look.
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