There is a list of certain classic games that are destined to appear on the roster of every single console made from now until the end of time’s after-party. Games like Lemmings and Worms are constantly reappearing. Each new console they appear on adds a lick of paint or a new feature to the original formula, which can make or break the remake.
When a remake hits the DS, the games are given the benefit of the touchscreen. This makes it a haven for classic point ‘n’ click adventures and strategy-based games. These genres were previously confined to the home computer market, but can now be enjoyed on the move. The Theme Park series, which has had more reiterations and reinventions than most, is the latest in this revived batch. But with so much time having passed since its original 1994 outing, can it find happiness away from its original Amiga home?
In case you can’t work it out from the fairly obvious title, your job is to design, build and maintain a theme park and all the trappings that go along with it, such as stock, employment and vomit. Enlisting the help of an advisor (who holds your hand until you really, really know what you’re doing, and even then finds it very difficult to let go), you are granted an empty green field in which to plant rides and attractions as you see fit. Once you’ve put together a neat Alton Towers wannabe, you can open the doors and let Joe Public in. The punters predictably go about doing their best to make life difficult for you, so it’s a huge juggling game as you try to keep them happy while simultaneously keeping profits high and expanding the park. Start taking big profits and you can sell your park and move on to a more exotic location, with new rides and harder challenges.
Electronic Arts have, somewhat boldly, hardly touched the original 1994 Theme Park system. Shrugging off the gameplay suggestions of its spiritual siblings, Rollercoaster Tycoon and Thrillville, the DS port stays loyal to its roots. Of course, we now have the benefit of the stylus instead of ye olde mouse and keyboarde which makes menu navigation swifter, if a little more odd (there are many situations where you have to tick a tick-box to select something). Plus, you can hook up with friends online and visit their parks, but you can’t really do much there. Other than that, we are looking at a spruced-up pocket version of a fifteen year old game.
This wouldn’t be a problem normally, if the game could maintain interest as well as it could in the past. Sadly, there are just too many problems here. First of all, the advisor is constantly bugging you to lower or raise the price of tickets or concessions, and for the five seconds when he’s happy with what’s being charged, he will pressure you to go around putting sign posts everywhere. In fact, nothing is ever stable enough (customer happiness, profits, your mental advisor) for you to have a substantial amount of time to tidy up and improve the park. And, when the end of the financial year rolls around, even if you make profit, chances are your advisor will tell you he’s afraid you might go bankrupt! With its relentless figure manipulation and complaints, it reminds me too much of being at work. That ain’t good.
Loads of inane, boring jobs distract from what the player really wants to do. It’s impossible to design a park to any sort of aesthetic plan because rides will blow up (seemingly randomly), rendering the ground around it useless. It’s a sad fact that the most enjoyable tasks are over the quickest and limited the most. Obviously building the park is a lot more fun than trading in its shares, but there are nowhere near enough attractions, the rides that require tracks are finickity and difficult to fit anywhere, and once you’ve plonked a ride down somewhere, that’s all you can do with it. Unlike Thrillville, you can’t ride on them. You can’t even watch a FMV movie of them in action, and even the PC version of Theme Park managed that.
Despite the fun image and potential that Theme Park is oozing with, this theme park sim is too much ‘sim’ and not enough ‘theme park’. The number crunching is boring, the constant hassle to do silly jobs is mind-numbing and there is no sense of reward, even when you’re making money. What fun you can get out of it is over within five minutes.
You can’t judge a retro remake on the memories you have of the original game and how great it was. You have to judge it on what it adds to the gaming world right now, and how it fares against the competition. And, sadly, Theme Park lets its legacy down.
Gameplay: 3 out of 10 Boring and repetitious.
Graphics: 6 out of 10 Bright but average.
Sound: 5 out of 10 Harmless enough.
Value: 4 out of 10 I'll give you two hours before you're bored.
OVERALL: 4 out of 10 Buy Thrillville instead.