If you’re a capitalist (and if you’ve got an internet-enabled computer then you probably are), you will recognise the almighty power of ‘the Crossover’. So much financial and artistic gain has been made from the melding of two or more individual intellectual properties into one. What would Casper be if he hadn’t met Wendy the Witch? And let us not forget the edible magic that Kit Kat and Caramac made together. With Nintendo storing so many popular trademarks under their sweaty bingo wings, it makes perfect sense for them to want to combine them all into one giant, massive, bonkers fighting fest. Enter Super Smash Brothers Brawl.
This reviewer has never owned a Smash Bros game. My primary experience with the series (of which this is the third game) involves watching better, more worthwhile people play it while I cleaned out their swill buckets. Why did I splash out on this game then? Well, I like to have something to moan about. So when I saw that practically everyone in Europe was getting stressed at having to wait for SSBB to cross the Atlantic, I longed to jump on the whinge wagon and pre-ordered it as soon as possible. Every day for five long months I got to huff and puff and complain at my monitor as I awaited the European release dates, then watched as those release dates faded away to be replaced by new ones. Thanks, Nintendo.
Then my copy of the game got “lost in the post” and delayed for 25 days. Thanks, popular online retailer.
Whatever. I’ve got it now, and while Nintendo may have dissed the entire EU by making us wait half a year for no clear reason, I think maybe we should give them a second chance. After all, this is a game that combines the universes of Mario, Link, Pokémon, Metroid, Metal Gear Solid and Sonic the Hedgehog. Think of the fanboy juice you can suck from this crossover lollipop.
For those who don’t know, this is a fighting game. Oh boy, is it! As the title suggests, it’s really more of a smash ‘em up than a beat ‘em up. Up to four combatants (computer or player – use a Gamecube controller if you don’t have enough Wii Remotes) pick a character from the line-up of 35 (if you’ve unlocked everyone) and go head-to-head-to-head-to-head in an explosive, ever-changing battle arena. Beat an opponent down enough and you can launch them off the screen, earning you a KO point and moving you a litle closer to victory.
This is the core of the Smash Bros experience - a super quick, highly customisable rumble, which you can undertake with a minimum of 2 players but it’s better with more. This will not be a strategic affair – rather, it’s a button-bashing bonanza, with your characters capable of a whole horde of insane moves (Mario can toss fireballs, Link can use his bow and sword, Kirby can eat people and absorb their powers…). There is some depth to the combat system but, if you’re anything like me, you’ll be jumping around like a madman, leaping from platform to platform, and hitting anyone who gets in your way.
The system prevents itself from growing anywhere near stale with the collectable items that scatter themselves around the stage (you can pick up anything from Pokéballs to baseball bats, explosive crates to Wario’s bike) and the variety of the stages themselves (taken from Nintendo games like the characters are, you can fight on a Mario Kart track, a spaceship, the WarioWare and PictoChat worlds, and so many others – even scrolling Mario levels!). There is just so much crammed in here – the controls, speed, appearance of the characters and even gravity itself are all under your control, the list of weapons is never-ending and simple basic play unlocks more and more stuff, like levels, bonus songs, weapons and trophies. Christ!
If you can tear yourself away from the hella’ addictive core game, there’s a decent one player mode here too. It’s split up into two distinct modes; the Classic mode is a string of 12 varied fights and challenges, each one against a different kind of enemy - a giant Pikachu, a metal Mario, or an endless stream of Olimars, culminating in a punch-up with a giant evil hand. Quite a bit of fun, but the appeal won't last forever.
The second part, and by far the most interesting, is the Subspace Emissary game. Despite its odd name (which sounds like a Pfizer product), this is a bizarre yet compulsive romp through the entire Nintendo universe. The game begins at a Smash Bros match-up between Mario and Kirby. The fight is interrupted by the arrival of a nasty-looking spaceship which decides to drop a bomb on the proceedings. Charming. Just as Mario, Kirby, Zelda and Princess Toadstool prepare to save the day, a giant Piranha Plant with sand up its butt crack decides to boot Mario a million miles into the air, and lock up the princesses. When Kirby finally takes care of the beastly flower, that sneaky punk Wario shows up and turns Zelda into a statue! As you can probably work out, the Subspace Emissary is a whole steaming pile of crazy. It’s a series of platform game style levels (think a more advanced Kid Chameleon or Klonoa), interspersed with hundreds of cut scenes where we meet all of the characters individually and live their stories. This mode has received some grief from critics due to the “beat ‘em up characters not working in a platform game” and the fact that it “goes on forever”, but I think it works, and it works brilliantly. It’s nearly good enough to stand up as a complete game, and if not that, it’s hours of wholesome, unpredictable adventure.
If you ever reach the end of both of these mammoth modes, there’s more here for you. Of course, there’s a selection of mini-games and special modes – what kind of game wouldn’t have those? They include 100 Man Brawls, baseball competitions, Target Smash and special novelty events. They’re great, adding yet another twist to the standard gameplay.
There’s a Level Editor, too, which lets you develop and distribute your hand-made domains of doom. Make enough levels or achieve enough in the game and you can unlock even more stuff to put into your special stages. Oh, and did I mention the bonus shoot ‘em up game and the playable trials of classic Nintendo titles? Collectable trophies, stickers and a list of every Nintendo game made are all up for grabs as well. An interactive camera and video replays… A wall of challenges to complete, plus it’s playable online… Look, I’m just going to stop here, otherwise I’m going to bust up the internet with my word count. There’s just so, so much in this game that I don’t think I’ve even found it all yet. Rest assured that, with 35 characters, heaps of adjustable madness and fan service for days, this game encapsulates the entire Nintendo experience and presents a fan boy’s dream, made all the more brilliant with a healthy dose of absolutely mental violence.
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