Ouch. Just... Ouch.
This game is an assault on your senses, your brain, your body and pretty much everything around you. It's like a series of explosions that vibrate through your hands, shiver down your spine and pop your eyes out of the sockets. Then they fly across the room and land on the floor and people tread on them and go "Oh, gross - what's this, chewing gum?" and you're like "No dude, those are my eyes. I've been playing God of War on the PlayStation 2."
You play as Kratos, a figure from Greek legend who is very angry indeed. He's an aggressive gentleman, trained by the gods and about three times the size of the average man. Needless to say, he has no problems with shoving his weight around. Just as well really, as during the course of the game you are called upon by the gods to interfere in mortal matters, such as the enforced death of giant lizards and minotaurs. You know, regular holy stuff. To help him out, Kratos has two jagged swords chained to his hands, and over the course of the adventure, the gods will bless him with more and more skills and weaponry. More and more ways to kill people. Think Devil May Cry, just with bigger swords and more dead things.
Oh, you want to talk about graphics? Alright...
Happy now? I know I am. Let's talk about the game, shall we?
When you click the Power switch on, you are hurled straight into the madness. You find yourself on a ship that's very much under attack. Within the first handful of minutes of playing, you're given a hint of what this game has in store for you, and it's an incredible ride - the fighting system is explosive, rapid and satisfying, enabling you to pull off a huge selection of powerful (and somewhat nasty) moves. When you're just about settled with the burning sword 'n' decapitation extravaganza, a hydra head bursts in on the action. This first boss looks incredible, and is more than willing to bring some more violence to the table. Revealing the game's Quick-Time Event reliance, you are prompted to press the 'O' button after you've beaten a few shades out of the enemy to activate a death move combo. These moves are unique to whatever enemy you're tackling at the time, and each one gives different rewards - from health to points. If you press the right buttons in sequence with this hydra fellow, you fire your chained swords through him. This is a great feature, as not only does it require you to approach each enemy differently (some of them will be more beneficial to kill in order to get the kind of bonus you need at the time, and the QTEs they activate require some fast-thinking fingers), but it also enables you to kill off your enemies in some crazy ways.
When you're not ripping people apart (seriously, there are sections in this game where you have to kill entire armies before the walls close in on you), you're given some balancing acts to pull off and giant puzzles to solve. This is standard adventure game fare (pushing blocks and climbing up walls) but it's very deep and multi-layered. They never lay it on thick enough to bore you though, and there's generally always something to do if you get stuck.
As you get deeper into your journey through the roughest parts of Ancient Greece, you'll unlock a series of powers. For example, decapitate Medusa and you can make off with her severed head. Not only does this impress girls at parties, but you can also use it to turn your opponents to stone and them smash them to bits. These powers are managed with Magic points, which you collect alongside Energy and Skill points. Energy speaks for itself, and Skill points let you 'level up' all of your god-given skills until you're an absolute beast. This is a great system, and really draws you into the game.
Fluid, imaginative and exciting, God of War is an incredible piece of work. It's very mature in an immature way (there are stupid sexual bits sandwiched between the outrageous violence) and lacks a little in the big boss department (there are only three massive confrontations), but otherwise it's a joy and a pleasure to bite into. The storyline is quite deep for this type of game. It delves deep into Greek mythology without soaking itself in cheese or, worse, bad voice acting. Kratos is a ruthless anti-hero, fuelled by vengeance and pain, and will stop at nothing to slaughter his inner demons. If this means having to hunt down and destroy Ares, the gigantic God of War, then so be it. If the idea of taking control of this kind of maniac triggers a guilty little trigger deep inside you, you'll love it.
Beating the game the first time round will unlock the wonderfully difficult God mode, and after that, there's a huge list of unlockables to keep you playing. We're talking deleted levels, special modes, background story... The works. Not that you'll need any reason to want to play it all through again and again.
If you're looking for an action-packed PS2 game, I recommend this. It's still outstanding, even if you're used to the PS3's library. God of War is fast and packed full of testosterone, but underneath all that is the most exciting game I've played for a while. It's going cheap, too.